Finally - an update...

Well some time has passed and there are reasons for this.  I think I last left off with a weekend with 2 dates which turned into zero dates.  Pat and I were to meet for coffee and I just didn't want to meet with him again until we exchanged phone numbers so I basically bailed and we haven't communicated since.

Eric (the truck driver)- whole other story.  This is the main reason I went on hiatus.  We were supposed to meet Friday night in Crystal City but he called and needed to reschedule so we were going to aim for Saturday evening.  When he called on Saturday he left a detailed message explaining that it was his niece's birthday party that night which he had forgotten about.  His message said he still wanted to do a 'quick meet & greet' so he'd 'dip out of the party to meet' and then 'slide back up' to the party.  (Honestly even after all this time I can clearly hear the message in my head and it still makes me sick to my stomach).  I called him back to set something up.  I asked how old his niece was turning and he said 3.  Along with many alarms in my mind by now I am thinking, 'Why would a birthday party for a 3 year old be going on past 9 pm?'  He then starts to say he has family birthdays like this from now until September.  It was as if he is already telling me he is too busy for me.  Anywho, I say well let's still meet in Crystal City. He says 'Let me think about that because it is going to be tough to find parking'.  

I took this to mean he must be planning on driving his truck to the date.  Another weird part is, wouldn't this have been a problem on Friday night too?  

NOTE:  please don't be horrified yet because we haven't even gotten to the scary part

He then said since he will only have about 20 minutes for this he would like me (BRACE yourself) to meet him in the Enterprise Rental Car parking lot on Jeff-Davis Hwy.  Ok so in case you think you are confused I will recap here - he is a truck driver who wants to meet me at 8:30 pm in a dark, desolate parking lot. 

Fortunately I have a good friend who sat with me as I called him back to cancel.  Then he started to ask if he could meet me sometime that week off of Duke St.  Anyways you get the idea here.  So he called 4 times afterwards (once at 7:43 am on Sunday- who is even up then?) and left messages and then thankfully by the grace of God he has stopped calling.

So my life has been a bit busy (apparently I have to start a job search) but I will try now to get back on track and return to dating.  I have already sent an email to Devin (he has been a judge of a debate at GWU).  Let's hope the guy can give me some hope.

Geographically Undesirable

So I know that previously I was making fun of some of these guys but then there are times I feel terrible for closing out a match. I have to decide whether I want to communicate with these men based on their profile and/ or pictures.  As usual Chemistry sends me potential matches from the entire eastern seaboard. From Marlton, NJ and Greencastle, PA. The dude from NJ appears to be in a wheel chair so I feel ever worse about closing him out. And the man from PA is OLD (yes even by my standards) and I truly don't think he could make the drive without one of his grandchildren driving him here. I need to go and find where Chemistry accepts suggestions and plead with them to add in 'geographically undesirable' as a way to close a match.

And yes I have let some of them sit in my 'interested in you' inbox but then they send a 'nudge' and that drives me crazy. I mean I am trying to let them down easy and then once they nudge me I feel like 'OK so I guess you want the door slammed.'

A word from our Sponsors

I am proud of myself because I did something completely out of character for me.  For those of you that know me you are not going to believe it.  

Today I went to the White House to attend the Stanley Cup presentation to the Mighty Ducks.  There was a nice looking Secret Service man that I smiled at and said hello to.  Following the presentation there was a reception and people were getting autographs from the players.  So as I was leaving I handed this dude (yes the Secret Service man) a business card (which were recently given to me by 2 close friends, who from here on out will be known as my Proud Sponsors).  As I gave it to him I looked up at him and said, "Lately I am living life by the rule of 'you only live once.'  And I would love to hear from you."  

YES - for real!

I am really taking this dating thing to a whole new level.

No worries.  I don't imagine I'll ever hear from him.  

Mercury is in retrograde

So I got a new possible match today who is 50 years old and wants children.  I quickly closed it.  Even if he had a kid this year he would be 68 when it graduated.  I mean who approaching 70 can stay awake until 11:30 pm to make sure his child comes home in time for curfew? 

I heard from Pat and he offered to meet me on Saturday for coffee again or maybe catch a yoga class.  I think it is weird but I will respond with a yes to seeing him on Saturday and I'll ask what type of yoga it is and go from there.  Please feel free to post your thoughts about this as a comment because quite frankly I do not know what to think.  I mean this is date 2 and I get that men like to check out women's bodies but there won't be much of a chance to chat during a class.

I have spoken with Eric again and I think we are going to meet for a drink Friday evening in Crystal City.  Our second conversation seemed better but than the first but again I found myself drifting off because he just rambles.

A close friend of mine told me Mercury is in retrograde.  Since I didn't understand what this meant I googled it.  It seems that means this is a time when communications can get confused. It will be this way until the 25th.  This doesn't bode well for my dates this weekend.      

Yes Virginia, there is a truck driver

So I have established phone communication with a new man.  His name is Eric.  He is the one that asked me to tell him the story that he saw in my eyes.  Then his next email was titled 'It is I, Sweetheart' in which he wrote 'Feel free to give me a call (xxx) 333-00xx, it is easier for me to communicate via this medium.'  When I told someone about this they were confused because they had thought I said he was an African-American.  Which he is.  

He looks like he weighs 98 lbs and I am hoping he has on a jacket 9 sizes too big for him and that he has some meat on his bones.  

Next allow me to share with you what he does for work.  His profile said he was a CEO of a transportation company.  Upon speaking with him I learned that he is a truck driver.  I know you are thinking 'What a catch!'  Don't be too jealous.

And it gets even better.  The first time he called me was Sunday night - in the third quarter of the Super Bowl.  Now even if you don't know that I am a Boston sports fan, does it make any sense to call someone during the Super Bowl?  

He did ask if we could meet up soon and I will venture no more than 1 mile from my home to meet him (he is from MD) but I really don't think I can stretch this one out to 3 dates.  Did I mention everything he said was either boring or an empty compliment?  Yeah - I am looking forward to this one.

Pat and I have emailed to try to catch up but so far have not found a common time.  I think perhaps he is frustrated or not interested since I emailed him last Thursday and have not gotten a response.  We still have not spoken to each other on the phone or exchanged numbers.

Also Devin and I have exchanged a few emails so hopefully soon we will graduate to a phone call.  

Can I have some laughing gas before I start to cry?

Today I would like to give everyone who isn't dating a glimpse of what the rest of us deal with in the dating pool.  Here is what we have to work..... 

This is from an actual profile of a guy that winked at me (he's 24 and no I didn't lie about my age on my profile so he actually knows I am a decade older than him)...

"Hey ladies. This is Sammy from Maryland giving every young lady the heads up that I'm single and looking for a special young woman. I have a picture, so you can check out my good looks.lol I'm 5'10 young black male, college educated, and full time worker with a steady job. I also drive my own car."

I truly don't think I can even wink back because WHAT could I say if we started to email?  I am not a materialistic person and I am not sure if he thinks it's impressive that a) he has a license, b)that he knows how to drive or c) that he has a car.

Of course I have one guy suggesting we meet soon at any place off the orange line so I guess he doesn't have a car and/or license?  Geez...

And then there is this one.  
Again I have bolded my favorite line.
"Nice guy looking for normal, professional, down to earth women. I am not looking for high maintenance gals who can often be fakes. I am fun, energetic, kind, romantic and love to travel. I work in D.C for the goverment (Big surprise!) and love my work. I do meet women at work but refuse to get involved with coworkers, soooooooo that is why I am taking a little chance here. I am looking for women between the ages of 25-35. Younger or older considered, if we develop a connection. I notice that numerous women claim to be looking for guys like me. I am not a player, I have a job, car, home and apartment and I am not currently looking to be supported financially."

From this should I gather that other men are looking to be supported financially?  

Also one guy wrote on his profile that he has all of his '32 permanent teeth without any metal or metal alloys on said teeth'.  I hope he was trying to be funny but I fear that maybe these are basic questions I should be asking as I begin to email new men.  

Update on Pat:  He emailed and asked me out to lunch/happy hour.  I don't think I can make it on the day he gave me but I do hope/plan to see him again.  

peace

Please ask for my number...

So despite the fact that I was not feeling well at all, off I went to meet Pat.  Very nice guy.  He is cute and easy to chat with.  I think he is 40 and he sells software to ERs.  He grew up in MD so he is from this area.  He made it very clear that he LOVES golf and will drop anything for a chance to play.  He also explained that he does a lot of stuff last minute and isn't a real planner.  I have experience with this type of 'impulsive' behavior and I can't say I can hang with it all that well.  

That being said I felt as though I was on an interview.  He asked pointed questions about my family, religious beliefs, what party I support, my 5 year goals, and so on.  Yeah- not what I was up for since again it was 9 am (a time I don't function well at right now) and I wasn't feeling well.  I don't think I had my game on and I was not worried about having the 'right' answers since I am not in a search for a husband.  

At the end of our meeting he stretched out his arms for a hug so I gave him a hug and kiss on the cheek and off I went.  I hoped that I would hear from him but doubted that I would.

Well that evening he sent an email saying he had a nice time meeting me and would like to hang out in my neck of the woods sometime.  All this is weird to me because we haven't exchanged phone numbers.  Am I out of date since I expect communications to take a leap from emails to phone calls at some point?  

peace

Third (and last?) date

So plans changed and I felt like maybe I wanted to go out.  I accepted one of Victor's daily offers to meet up.  He is a decent guy except he wants to get laid and I can't take the pressure so I explained that I didn't feel comfortable with that idea at this point.  On the way home I kind of beat myself up because I felt like I needed a clearer, nicer way to state that.  So I began to rehearse a few words explaining my thoughts and then luckily sanity arrived!  Why do I have to tell some dude that expects sex by date 3 that I am not in it for that?  Avoiding conversations is an area of expertise for me and I am not always proud of that (I could probably write a book on the fade and why it works best in EVERY situation).  But in this instance it is okay to not have a conversation.  I have stated he is too focused on sex.  Enough said.  I certainly don't deserve to be sexually harassed by my date each time we go out.    

As I continue to reflect on this I now have found the words I want to say to him.  I want to tell him that his profile headline should read 'breakfast is expected to end our date.'

And no - I have not gotten a phone call from my pal on the plane.  The sad part is realistically he is not going to call.  Even I know that.  But I still want to hope that he might.  Basically I will not be mentioning him again unless I hear from him or hunt him down.  

So I am now looking forward to meeting Pat Saturday morning.  At least I am optimistic that he will be decent, kind & cute (yes if you think you're confused he is the white one).   

But don't be surprised if I breeze through the Marriott bar Friday evening.

:( No Call

No call.  He hasn't called.  Why?  Somehow in my mind I don't think he is going to call so I am planning my next move.  I am seriously considering swinging by the hotel he claims to stay at to see if anyone can help me get in touch with him.  Then when I find him I'm gonna say something like, 'I figured you lost my number since there is absolutely no other reason why you would make me wait for a phone call.'

The other option I need to consider is that he actually lives in this area and is married and he lied about staying at the Marriott.  I was off my game and didn't check for a ring.  

So onward I move.  I chat with Victor each day.  We don't have specific plans to see each other but that is mostly because of my schedule.  I guess even if I go out with him one more time I will eventually have to have a talk with him.  Which for me is about as fun as chewing foil so basically he will linger there until he gets tired with me.  And, which, if he is like most men and wants what he can't have that will make me all the more appealing to him.  

I have a new friend Devin.  I have high hopes for him.  When I asked him what he did over the weekend he said he fed the homeless and was a judge at GW for some debate thing.  You know I love a community volunteer but I am not sure if the debate thing is impressive or way too geeky for me.  He is a 39 years old, 6'2", African American, has never been married and has at least 1 child.  

peace     

Addicted to dating?

So this was my weekend off from dating and I was looking forward to that.  Vegas was excellent!  As luck would have it (no- not luck in gambling but maybe in love) I think I met a man on my flight back.  I can't divulge too many details because I don't want to jinx it but I can say I REALLY hope he calls, which means most likely I won't hear from him.

I was sitting in the wrong seat on the airplane (apparently I can't read numbers all that well).  He said 'I think you are in my seat but I would be thrilled to have you sit on my lap.'  I know it is a dirty, cheesy pickup line but I am not too proud to admit that I fell for it.  He said he was fine taking my seat but I was bright red with embarrassment and insisted on sitting in our assigned seats.  As I was moving all my stuff he picked up my book and said 'Now as long as this isn't the Holy Bible I know I have found someone for me .'  At this point I assured him I would not be voting for the Huck.  He kept me laughing as we waited for take off and then as we were de-boarding the plane he continued to chat with me.  He claims he is from Texas but works out here.  He probably has a wife and kids (and as my close friend in Bean town pointed out- grand kids too) but these days who doesn't.  I guess this is where I can sneak in he is white, bald and probably a member of the AARP (yes he is over 55).  

He did take my number and only my first name so if he has even the beginnings of senility I guess I won't hear from him.  I don't know anything about him except that his name is Joe and he stays regularly at the Key Bridge Marriott.  If he doesn't call I'll know it's because he came to his senses and realized a 30-something is out of his league.  At least that's what I will tell myself as opposed to the alternative which is that he simply isn't interested.

Did I mention I want him to call?  I mean a 'want' like in the way a kid in the 80s wanted a Cabbage Patch Kid.  That badly is how much I want him to call.  And it is already 9 at night so it is not looking good for me.

All this makes me wonder though perhaps I have become addicted to dating since now even when my computer isn't close by I am flirting.  Is there a 12 step program like Daters Anonymous?  

Weekend Off

 Well I have had a change in plans and will be going to Vegas for the weekend.  That said I had to reschedule my Saturday am coffee meeting with Pat.  I guess I need to clarify that I said he is cute but failed to mention that he is white.  Anywho, we have been emailing since this whole gig began and I told him I had been to NH and Vegas over the holidays.  So I couldn't then say I was going to Vegas again on short notice for fear he will see this as a signal of a huge problem.  I will explain it all to him when we meet- if that doesn't scare him off then that's a good start.  

I am in open communication status with about 4 men on chemistry.  One is named Eric.  He seems quite slender and he is an African American.  He emailed this to me "Your eyes have a story that they are waiting to tell... What is that story?"  I mean I get that everyone has a pick up line they use as a hook but I know he's got to have something better.  I will wait until my return to write to him.  I am open to suggestions.

I got the speed dating suggestion and have added to my list.  I need to get through January.

peace

 

My inbox is full but my life is empty

I am managing this whole process much better these days.  I get 5 new matches from chemistry everyday and I am disciplined about saying yay or nay right away.  From there I return interest meters, short answers and emails.  I am now down to 30 mins a day and that's it.  I plan on taking a day off soon!

I have even started searching!  We are rolling now.  I winked at 3 people.  I feel like that saves me (and them) time from writing useless emails if they aren't interested.  Who knows? 

Pat had to change our date so we are meeting Saturday morning for coffee.  I bet he got someone younger and cuter for Friday night- Go Pat!

I think I will see Victor again on Friday evening or for the game on Sunday.  That will be date 3.  My goal is 3 different guys that I go out on 3 dates with.  I thought that was a bit lofty but here we go.  I have no plans for what to do after our third date.  I guess we keep going out?  Please share your advice!

Look out for some guest bloggers...ladies we are anxious for your posts!  

peace

Profile no longer available?

I am anxious to meet my new date, Pat, on Friday.  I couldn't recall all his specifics (what he does for work, where he lives, his age, if he only dates girls with multiple body piercings) so of course I went to visit his profile.  I am so screwed because it is not available!  What does that even mean?  I don't think this Friday will go anywhere near as smooth as last Friday.  He and I have not spoken on the phone and have no plan to do so and now I can't even start a conversation about his job because I have no idea what it is!  I have information overload from all these profiles.  If anyone is thinking of setting up their own online dating service I would aim for a 'keep it simple, stupid' philosophy.

I am glad that he is very cut and dry about the whole thing.  We've exchanged about 3 emails (I had to make sure he wasn't a Yankees fan) and now we'll meet.  None of the back and forth stuff.  I like that.    

Chemistry.com has been sending me possible matches from what seems like the entire East Coast.  One from Philly and even one from Connecticut.   Perhaps they are sending me a message like "We are doing the best we can but you aren't being cooperative so we had to extend the search."

I never heard from the mechanic.  I don't think he had white down as a possible match for him so I should have seen that one coming.  I am disappointed but hopefully more men in the automotive world are on their way to.     

***************************************************

Here are some of the Date Lab questions and what I answered- I can't change them now!

Q. What was your worst date?

A. As a way to cope with difficulties in life I have a well developed method of repressing things that are terrible. That being said I can't recall my bad dates. Maybe a hypnotist could help.

Q. In what ways do you hope that your date differs from you?

A.  I hope that he has a lot of common sense to make up for all the flakiness I have. I can't tell you how many times I have lost my keys while shopping in a mall!

Q. Pitch your dating history as a TV show

A. Look Out! This petite powerhouse is off and dating. Join us for an inside look at the men she meets- from one that's as slick as a can of oil to another with 3 roommates, no car yet feels he is her soul mate. It could keep you laughing (or crying if you too are trying to date) for hours.

Q. What makes you a good catch?

A.  Me? What doesn't make me a good catch? I am cute, kind and loyal. I enjoy sports though I am a fan of Boston-based sports teams. Carry-on size baggage (thanks for this one Lisa)!

Q. How do you usually meet your dates?

A.  I either met them online or in a bar. Unfortunately dating has turned into me spending time with my computer and the only warm feeling I get is from my MacBook battery on my lap.

A few extra lbs?

Updates- I am submitting an application to date lab.  I am sure they get a million so let's not get our hopes up.

Victor and I went out again on Sunday to watch the Dallas game.  I had another nice time.  I am a bit concerned that he doesn't have much game since he calls and texts at least twice a day and seems to have all the time in the world to see me.  But maybe that is sweet.  Time will tell.  I am attempting to follow the 4 man plan (I don't have it all memorized yet) so I  have to pretend like I am busy and don't have a lot of time just for him.  Of course he is only 1 man and to follow the plan I need 3 more.  I guess when I tell him I am busy I am actually busy recruiting (no so successfully I may add) more men.  

I have a potential 'new' date with a white man named Pat.  He is kinda cute.

My thought for today is on body types.  So on these websites you select your body type- slender, athletic and toned, curvy (for me), etc. Then I guess for men from there it goes a few extra lbs, stocky or heavyset. Now I'll tell I love the large man however they need to state that they are heavyset. I mean they list a few extra lbs and when I get a pic they are like 300 lbs. That to me is heavyset. I got love for it but lets call it what it is. Maybe these sites should just use the BMI scale. At least it is more objective.

Dating offline was not so bad

A quick recap of the date:  I am thankful it was finally a date that did not include my computer.  Although I did feel a bit lonely without the warm feeling of my macbook on my lap.  After all we (my computer and me) have been together daily working on this for 2 weeks.  

To answer some questions I apparently failed to address:  He is cute.  He is on the skinny side for me (6'2" and 200 lbs).  Conversation was easy even though I feared it would be awkward.  He did pay for dinner and I insisted on leaving the tip.  After dinner we went to Bailey's for a few drinks, played checkers and watched the game.  If I check all my mistrust in men at my keyboard it really was a great date!  

I even thought about sending him an ecard saying 'thanks for not lying on your profile.'

 

Back in the saddle today though.  Chemistry sent me a match from Philadelphia- Is that in my dating pool?  Certainly not according to me.  The guy was funny in his profile and that is probably closer than Gloucester but I had to close that match.  

My next dream boat I am waiting on right now is Devin.  He's 6'2" and quite cute in his picture.  

peace

not much to say....

So basically it was a nice date.  I am not sure what else to add.  He was late but as soon as he showed up he offered his id- which had all the info he had given me.  Then I asked him if I could look through his phone and he let me.  He did have 1 questionable message but other than that he seemed decent.

We'll see if he calls again.

This is so weird for me....

peace

Let the games begin!

Tell me who this looks like...

His name is actually Scott.  I swear to you it is Scott Peterson.  He is even behind bars. 

Ok so tonight is the night before the big 1st date in 2008. I am actually a bit anxious as people are asking me 'what are you wearing?' 'who pays?' and 'is it dinner or drinks?'  I don't have answers to these questions.  

Victor and I have spoken again and I am certain he is as slick as a can oil.  With that in mind my anxiety subsides.  This has a potential of about 3 dates.  Next? 

I know some of you have some tales to tell from your dating lives as well.  I can add guest bloggers and if you are interested just email me and we'll figure it out.  The more the merrier! 

peace

My next step

So in a weird turn of events I received this in my inbox today - not my jaguar account but my work account.  If you have time it is worth the read for so many reasons.

It is from a young lady in Poland who is looking for an American man (as I am).  She explains she got the address through an internet dating service.  

Since I can relate to her request I could respond and tell her a) she either has the wrong address, b) if she paid for the service they may have her money and she may have swindled or c) ignore her since she is competition.

On of my favorite lines is "I am ready for creation family."  She so needs to write to that dude that said 'times awastin.' "

But this has given me another idea in my quest for a date.  Maybe I should go international...importing a date is not any crazier than what I have been doing.

peace

 
********************************************************************
Hello Dear!
How are you? I hope that all good for you and you will read my letter
with a interest. Ok. I got your e-mail through internet dating agency.
I gave my letter to agency and they have told that my letter will be send to man in North America!!!!
I want to arrive to North America and I have good chance for this.
I need only man who can meet me in North America and probably we can to develop our relations.
Ok. My name is Halina. I'm from Poznan City, Poland.

My measurements: 32B - 24 - 34, Height: 5'2", Weight: 115 lbs
Hair: Brunette
Eyes: Blue
Star Sign: Pisces

I'm 26 years old. But very soon will be 27 years old. My birthday on March, 13, 1981.
I am ready for creation family and want it very much.
I cannot find the man in Poland for myself because it very hard in Poland.
I want to create family and to live in your country because the government to care about people.
I want to live and be sure in the future.
In Poland it is not possible to live easy. I want to tell about myself a little.
I live in city Poznan. My city is very beautiful. I work as the seller in shop home appliances.
I'm cheerful woman who like to go for sports and do all what like are usual peoples.
My history: I'm with my girlfriend were going to go in your country as tourists for search of men for serious relations.
But my girlfriend could not go with me. She had problems with your family.
But very soon I will receive visa and I don't want to lose a chance to
arrive in your country. I will receive visa in 7 days for your country.
Now I'm in city Warsaw and waiting for reception of my visa. It will
be great if you can meet me and we can to have relations with you. I'm
understand that it very strange, but probably it's desteny for you and
me. I understand that you will ask me "Where did you get my e-mail?"
I'm right??? I got your e-mail through internet dating agency
in my city. I gave them my letter and they told me that they will send
my letter. And I will be very happy if YOU will answer to me.
I will be very happy if you will write me and we will have our meeting
very soon. And it is possible we a meeting in 7 days because I can arrive to you. Please tell to me about yourself a little!

What is your full name?
Your age?
City?

I hope that you will answer to me back... If so I will send my photo to you.
I will wait your answer so much...
Write to me on e-mail : halina.liashkevich@gmail.com
Yours Halina

3-2-1 (possible) Contact?

So new interest expressed in me today by Billy.  He wrote 4 sentences about himself and the first one is 'I moved to Maryland due to the 9-11 attacks'.  I guess since the whole '9/11' seems to be working (or not working for Guliani) this guy decided to give it a shot.  He then explains he is a naval officer and scientist.  My heart is aflutter-- NOT!

Here is the BIG news:  I finally spoke with a man on the phone today- Victor.  We may go out on Friday.  My hunch is that he is a playa but I gotta start somewhere.  I am pretty sure he has me completely confused with another white chic.

Of course I may never hear from him again so let's not get our hopes up here.

peace

Can I call you back? I'm dating right now.

Let me begin by saying this is TONS of work.  Never as a teenager when I would imagine being a grown up and dating did I think this is what my life would be like.

First you log on and you have messages you need to read and return.  Now I use the word 'need' since I am committed to this.  So at any given time I have to answer questions, fill in an interest meter, return a wink, return an email and see who threw me into their archives (that means they are done with me).  To keep up with this you can bank on 30 mins just to 'catch up' for the day.  Then from there if I had energy I could spend hours searching profiles to find some that I can initiate winks, questions or emails with.    

So when I get home at night technically I spend 30 - 60 minutes dating.  Like when a friend calls and says 'Hey, what are you doing?'  I could reply with, 'I need to call you back I am dating right now.  Give me 15 minutes.'  Is it normal to date from one's living room?  I haven't even spoken to a man yet about a date since 2008 began yet I claim to be dating.  Nice.   

Or maybe when a friend of mine says, 'let's meet for drinks at 9' I could say 'oh yeah I'll just date from 7-8 that night so 9 can work.'  Dating = me scrolling through messages on my couch, by myself.    

I am thrilled tonight though to announce I am making progress.  I have exchanged phone numbers with a man named Victor.  Yes he has seen my pic and continued to communicate with me- whew!  I know so much about him already, seeing as I haven't met him yet.  He is (if he is telling me the truth) a 35 year old African American (cute), works for the government, grew up in MD, and oh yeah - has NEVER dated a white woman.  I am sure this has LOTS of potential.  I mean I have to think there is reason he's never dated a white woman but heck if I care at this point.  He's the closest thing I have to going out on a real date yet. 

But maybe all my dating take place on the couch.   I am sure he would like me if I suggested my place as a venue.  Hmmmm...the possibilities are endless!  

peace

Jackpot? Let's hope

Well today I am a bit more optimistic since Brandon, someone who was sent to me as a possible match, has automotive industry listed as his occupation (jackpot!).  Now I realize this could simply mean he pumps gas somewhere but I have to hope he can run some diagnostic test and provide advice when a car is rattling.  A mechanic would be a significant gain into my circle of friends.  Of course he has yet to see my picture.  Also as I read his profile in its entirety he does not have white listed as one of his desired ethnicities.  I expressed interest anyways.  I mean he was sent to me as a possible match.  Like I said I am optimistic!

I have not heard anything from the chef from Gloucester.  I am in his holding pattern until he writes or closes me.  Please let me know directions to the bridge that has been built to get me over this one.

My other favorite from today was a man who is 48 and said 'time's awastin'' so 'let's get started quickly on a family'.  Again there must be site for folks who are interested in having unprotected sex in hopes of procreating without even knowing each other.  I am certain that neither site I am on lists this as their mission.

My next stop will be the Washingtonian personals section.  Lots of freaks to pick from.  I will get a date at some point!

peace

online dating explained

Well a few folks (a.k.a married people who do not have to deal with this) may need me explain what this online thing is all about.  If you don't need a quick lesson you may want to skip to the last paragraph of this post.

So I am currently on 2 sites - match.com and chemistry.com.  On both I have a profile.  It gives the quick and dirty facts about me- age, body shape, a blurb about me, etc.  If you would like to check mine out you can search for it at match. com.  You select search by username and my handle (or username) is jaguarthekitty.  http://www.match.com/profile/showprofile.aspx?ortp=1&TP=U&uid=1H3VI%2f6Gm08PUaWtZDWhjg%3d%3d&lid=21  If that doesn't work email me and I will send you the link.  On match.com I can search for certain ethnicities, religions, if they have pets, etc.  Then I can wink at someone or send an email or someone can do the same to me.  I don't get many hits (people checking my profile) here because I don't have a pic (picture) up.  Once contact is made and they seem only half crazy I send a pic to them at that point.  

On chemistry.com matches are sent to me that the chemistry gurus feel match with what I am looking for (based on a questionnaire).  Also I am sent notes from people who are interested in me because they have been sent my profile as a possible match.  

There are 4 stages on this one-  interest expressed, relationship essentials, short answer questions and email.  Once we have exchanged relationship essentials information they get 2 pics of me send to them.  Some people have their pics up with their profile but I selected a privacy option for mine.  The relationship essentials are statements (i.e. extremely neat and clean, loves pets, enjoys sports and events, etc) and then I rate how important these are to me on a scale (not important to very important).  Once we have expressed a mutual interest and both completed the relationship essentials then we can view the other's answers.  This is when they get my pics.  At any time one stops being interested (i.e. they rated loves pets as most important and I rated it least important) you can close the match.  Bear in mind that street goes both ways so some are closing the match when they get my pic.  I feel so pretty!  

Once a match is closed it goes to your archives.  If the match remains open it goes to active matches.  If you feel like you are waiting too long for a response you can 'nudge' a person.  I haven't used this function as I find it rude.  I have been nudged and that caused me to close a match.  

If we pass stage 2 (relationship essentials, which includes a pic from me) then 2 short answer questions are exchanged.  You can craft your own or pick from a list (i.e. what is your guilty pleasure, what song is in heavy rotation on your ipod, what made you smile today).  Once we have both answered the questions then the answers are sent to both of us.  If we pass this (pass meaning neither of us has closed the match yet) we get to email each other.   Let's call that the bonus round!

If you are thinking it may be less effort to apply for an FBI job then I have explained this very well.  If you somehow think this isn't a f*&^in'  ton of effort then please post a comment or email me so I can explain in a different way, perhaps with a graphic, to help you understand.

So today - Day 4- was a sad day because Mao Bing closed the match once he got my pic.  So did the man with twins.  I may not get any dates in 08.  It is a low point but the good news is I do have new interest from a chef who earns less than $25,000.  He lives in Gloucester, Va with roommates.  I am not trying to be a gold digger and I don't know where in Virginia Gloucester is, but can he afford the gas money to come meet me for coffee? Fact of the matter is I am getting ahead of myself because once he sees my pic he may just add me to his archives.  If that happens I will need someone to build me a bridge to get over this one.

peace

The hits (not hotties) just keep on coming...

So I have one guy that hasn't even seen my picture yet and already is telling me he 'loves to hang out in the city when he gets a chance...which is not often due to work.'  This reads to me that he is already finding excuses not to see me.  Hope I am not breaking any hearts here but I am not responding to him.

Due to foolish curiosity, I have expressed interest in Mao Bing but allow me to say that he listed his religion as Gnostic.  I am truly hoping he has his own definition for that however he may just have meant agnostic.  We may never know because once he sees my pic he may close the match.  

I knew I had found my true love today when one guy who is 37 wrote that he can play cards all night long.  I need someone to start researching if cards is code for something - let's hope so.  He lists his income $25,000- $50,000 and says he lives alone.  He then writes how he loves to take road trips.  With gas prices these days do you think date night could turn into hitch hiking? 

One guy actually has his headline read 'twin daughters...and they're pistols.'  As I read his profile he explains he is a widower and his twins are 15 months old.  'Pick me please' is all I can think.  His headline should read 'seeking instant mom'.  I plan on expressing interest back in him since at least he is honest.

I can only commit to this for 3 months and one friend has already told me I should rename this date in 08 Q1.  Since that is too complicated for me to change the name I just wanted to adjust expectations.  I am only committing to this until 1 April.  But I am getting ahead of myself here because none of these freaks may ever even agree to a date with me.  I have no potential dates lined up yet.  The closest I am right now to a first date is with a bald, white, 50 year old chemical engineer named Michael in Arlington.  

MAO BING

GAWD BLESS!

Well the show must go on, or for me get started.  

I am not sure where to start so I'll start with Mao Bing.  He is one of the 'interested in me' people from chemistry.  No pic.  Now I promised that I would have very few rules on this dating frenzy but PULEEZ.   Let me tell you that his profile says he is white and 5'11 (yes white).  His minimum height requirement for his date is 4 feet.  At least I know I've got that covered.  Seriously, doesn't that qualify as a small person?  Don't they have a dating service online that caters to that?  They must!

Then there is Mr. Better Than Chocolate who again didn't have a pic but his profile says he is bald.  I guess I didn't check the ethnicity because let me tell you how shocked I was to see his pic and - Bingo - he's white.  I am crazy to even try this.  

One military dude got my pic and closed the match.  Guess I am not pretty enough for the military folk.  So here is a guy that all day mostly sees just men and I don't make the grade.

Stay tuned......